8 practical tips + bonus on how to deal with emotional sensations such as irritation and frustration

Irritation, frustration and annoyance are common emotional sensations we feel in stressful situations, whether due to minor inconveniences or more significant challenges. 

While they are a normal part of life, knowing how to manage these feelings effectively can make a big difference in your well-being, productivity and overall quality of life. 

In this blog I set out some practical steps to help you deal with these emotional reactions in healthy, constructive ways.

1. Stop yourself from reacting:  pause and calm your nervous system

When you start feeling irritated, pause and focus on your breathing. 
Action: Take a few deep breaths — inhale slowly, hold for a moment, and exhale fully. Do this for several rounds until you feel calmer.
Deep breathing can calm your nervous system and create a moment of distance between you and the frustration, making it easier to approach the situation with a clearer mind.

2. Practice curiosity over judgement to identify the source

Instead of judging and labelling the people or situations which irritate you, practice curiosity to build the understanding of what exactly is triggering your reaction. 
Action: Ask yourself questions like, “What exactly is frustrating me?” or “Why am I feeling irritated by this?” or be curious by asking “What is it trying to teach me?”. 
This awareness can help you distinguish between genuine concerns and minor issues that might not be worth the stress.

3. Shift your perspective

Sometimes, frustration comes from focusing on what is wrong rather than what can be done. 
Action: reframe your thinking by asking, “Is there anything I can learn from this?” or “How can I handle this differently?”. Write down the answers to let the sensations leave your body and transfer to the paper.
Reframing can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

4. Use physical activity to release tension

Irritation and frustration often create physical tension. If a situation allows, take a short break to clear your mind. Stepping away from the source of frustration, even if only for a few minutes, can help reset your mood. 
Action: try going outside for a short walk, doing a quick workout, or even a few stretches, grabbing a coffee, or simply shifting to a new environment, if possible. 
All this can help release pent-up energy and provide a mental break.

5. Practice gratitude

In moments of irritation, it can be hard to remember what is going well. 
Action: take a minute to list a few things you are grateful for, whether they are related to the current situation or not. 
This simple exercise can shift your mindset and help put minor irritations into perspective.

6. Practice self-compassion

Being hard on yourself or criticising yourself for feeling irritated can heighten frustration. 
Action: take time to acknowledge (literally tell yourself out loud) it is normal and allow yourself to feel what you feel. Name what you feel and try to sense where in your body you feel it – become your own scientist.
Self-compassion and self-observation can lower stress and make it easier to move forward without being bogged down by frustration.

7. Communicate your feelings (if necessary)

Sometimes, frustration and irritation come from unspoken concerns or unresolved issues. 
Action: If your frustration involves another person’s behaviour, consider calmly discussing how you feel. This has to be a blameless discussion, meaning it is best if it comes from the place of curiosity for that person, i.e. “The other day your ABC behaviour made me feel irritated. What was your intention when you behaved like that?” or “I feel that you are irritated, and I feel frustrated by it. Could you please help me understand what is happening for you?”
Expressing your thoughts and trying to understand the other person can clear up misunderstandings and help reduce ongoing irritation.

8. Refocus on what matters to you most

When frustration arises, it can help to remember your values, priorities and the life you want to live.
Action: write down top 3 to 5 things that matter to you the most and then ask yourself if this momentary irritation really impacts these things. 
Shifting focus to your larger objectives can reduce the intensity of the frustration and make it easier to let go.

Conclusion

Managing irritation and frustration effectively requires a balance of mindfulness, self-awareness, self-compassion and action. By applying these practical steps, you can turn frustrating situations into opportunities for growth and self-improvement, ultimately boosting your resilience and well-being and improving your quality of everyday life.

!!! Bonus step – Release expectations 

Many frustrations stem from unmet expectations. 
Action: try to live your life with no expectations! Do things because you want to do them, instead of doing them because you expect or want a certain outcome. Go out there and practice doing things without any attachment to the outcome – do them with ‘with or without’ energy! 
PS. This one is my favourite and it has been a big contributor to the transformation I have experienced. 

Please contact me if you would like help in understanding how we could work together to reduce the impact of frustration and irritation on how you experience your life.